People of Ireland, have you no shame? Or have you not a care for what the world thinks of you?
It was perhaps inevitable that Dustin the Turkey — a puppet who has released several albums — would be voted the nation’s entrant to the Eurovision song contest. As well as it just being a sense of mischief, we did choose John “Hasn’t a Note In His Head” Aldridge as winner in a celebrity singing show.
Dustin’s entry is a parody of the Eurovision.
Composed by Darren Smith and Simon Fine, the tune draws strongly on the campness of the Eurovision contest, which has become notorious in recent years for its tactical geopolitical voting.
“Shake your feathers and pop your beak, shake it to the west and to the east,” crooned Dustin in Limerick’s University Concert Hall.
“Wave Euro-hands and Euro-feet, wave them in the air to the turkey beat.”
And it gets better:
Dustin’s song urges voters to “give douze points to Ireland” for its lowlands and its highlands, for Terry Wogan’s wig and Bono’s leather pants.
It says: “We brought you Guinness and Westlife, 800 years of war and strife, but we all apologise for Riverdance.”
Bookmakers William Hill have installed Dustin as 10-1 favourite to win. Their Irish spokesman Tony Kenny said: “A singing turkey will possibly be one of the most bizarre things that a Eurovision audience will ever see. He’ll go to Belgrade on a wing and a prayer and, fingers crossed, he’ll ruffle a few feathers when he gets there.”